Stylin'

Before I get to the heart of this post, I want to first point you to an article I read from The Philadelphia Inquirer.  It touches on an issue that we've talked about before, and what has become an important workplace issue and writing--not workplace writing per se, but the broader effects of writing on the workplace.  I've isolated a couple of sections from the article below; I've also included the link to the article if you want to read the entire thing.  This is an issue that tends to agitate many, particularly so-called millennials who have come to see social media as an integral part of their lives.  The article is entitled "Balancing Act."

The nation may still be debating the NFL's handling of Baltimore Ravens' running back Ray Rice's domestic troubles, but the message the incident has sent is clear – messing up in your private life can get you fired. 

In an era when people are working 24/7, we are being judged round the clock, too. Any behavior that embarrasses our employer and affects revenue or reputation has become a punishable – even fireable – offense, regardless of whether it takes place in a cubicle, online or in an elevator. 

"It's a new day with respect to intensity of accountability," says Anita Cava, a business professor and director of the Business Ethics Program at University of Miami. "There are no secrets. That is the reality of our viral world, where everyone has a recording device and camera at their fingertips." 

 And a little later in the article:

By law, companies have the freedom to run their businesses the way they want – and fire people whose behavior they consider harmful. "What people do wrong doesn't always have to be illegal to get them fired," explains Gerry Hoeffner, president of Personnel Dynamics Consulting Group in Fort Pierce, Fla., who consults organizations on business and the human element. "Employers are saying, if it puts our organization in a bad light, we have to address that."

Balancing Act

Getting Ready for the Ol' Routine

Stylin' Whip

One of the most common types of writing you'll do in your workplace will be something called a routine message.  (More on the specifics of this later.)  As is often the case with such messages, the content isn't particularly challenging or complex.  The challenge in these kinds of messages is something that's perhaps a bit unexpected: can you say what needs to be said simply and efficiently without leaving out what's essential and without burdening the reader with unnecessary stuff  and "hey-look-at-me-I'm-smart!" language?  We're talking about situations where how you say something is as important, and sometimes more important, than what you say.  We're talking about style.  

More importantly, simplicity and efficiency are crucial skills for virtually all types of workplace writing.  While some types of writing will require more content and elaboration of ideas (as in your next writing task), generally whatever the message is that you're trying to communicate, it needs to be delivered in a style that's clear and accessible.

Often workplace messages are pretty simple and straightforward, but whether a message is effective depends upon the words you use and how you use them.  

What are the specific components of style? Typically they involve the following:

* level of vocabulary
* sentence length and complexity
* tone (generally this means the "personality" you want to convey. For example, if you want to be assertive, you'll typically use shorter sentences and active voice. In a future post we'll take a look at some examples of workplace writing where writers carefully choose language and style to convey a particular image about an organization: mission statements. 


Style tends to take on greater urgency in workplace writing. The point of the writing is to get something done, so you need to successfully connect to your readers. If your readers can't follow the message, or don't understand what you're trying to say, or are put off by your attitude in the message (an attitude you may not even know you created), they will often just stop reading, or not read at all. Which of course means nothing gets done.

For example, several years ago a customer was unhappy with the service offered by a bridal shop, and wrote a letter to say so.  (I can't be more specific, since this is an actual letter, and not a textbook example.)  As complaining customers are often wont to do, the customer was somewhat direct in expressing her frustration that the bridal shop was not fulfilling its end of the agreement.  The manager of the bridal shop responded, and below is a portion of her response.  Now, note that the manager is responding with good news, telling the customer she will get her refund; also note that I've retained the original spellings, grammar and format:

After trying very hard for a long time, I finally received good results from our corp., all in your favor and to your benifit.

I am sending your letter back, as it probably will be of more use to you in the future than to me.

I am also taking this opportunity to thank you for mailing it to me, but your threats are meaningless.

Signing legal business contracts, commits an individual to the terms, rules and policies of such.

We try very hard to assist an unsatisfied customer, such as yourself, when in return, rudeness and untruthfulness are the results, then I wonder, was it worth it????

Good luck to you in the future and to all the people you will be dealing with.

What can be boggling about this message is that it is good news, yet the writer somehow managed to craft a message that only deepened the conflict, rather than ended it.

The Effects of Bad or Inappropriate Style on Readers

The factors that play into determining your style for a particular message:

* level of knowledge of your readership
* direction in which you're writing: are you writing upward (to your supervisors and those higher than you in the organization's hierarchy), downward (to those you supervise and to those you are higher than in the organization's hierarchy) or across (to organizational peers).
* how you expect your readers to respond to the message
* organizational culture
* the seriousness of the message (good news, bad news, neutral news)
(Note that all of the points above refer to the rhetorical situation.)

 

Comparing School Writing to Workplace Writing

The following sentence is taken from a writing handbook:

“As a third-year college student majoring in history who has already acquired a bit over ten thousand dollars in student loan debt, I find McPherson and Schapiro’s rejection of Clinton’s national service plan to be short sighted and insensitive to the experiences of many college students who are struggling to put themselves through school only to face enormous financial burdens upon graduation."

The handbook offers the sentence as an example of good academic writing—and it is. For school writing, this sort of style works well.  Teachers will salivate over sentences like this, and encourage this.  This has several common markers that scream "A" or "B": a relatively elevated vocabulary, an apparent command of complex sentence structures, personalization of a complex idea, and righteous indignation (which signals that the writer is invested in the topic, which helps teachers feel good about themselves for assigning it in the first place).  
However, if you have good career karma, you will likely never see a sentence like this in effective workplace writing. Here’s why:

1. It’s too long—63 words by my count.
2. Long sentences typically mean that the sentence contains subordinate clauses, conditional clauses and phrases, and/or multiple ideas. All of these can obscure the main point of the sentence. In workplace writing the main point needs to be crystal clear, so simple and direct works best.
3. The first part of this sentence (through “I find”) refers to the writer’s state of mind about an idea. The writer also refers to himself/herself. In workplace writing, readers want the focus to be on actions, not states of mind. The important question for readers in a work setting is “What should we do?,” not “What do you think?” (Though don't take this as dogma.  Even so, talking about what you think is useful only when it will ultimately lead to some action.)  Also, since one typically writes as a representative of the organization or some segment of the organization, the point of view represented is typically the organization’s point of view.
So, if I were to convert this sentence into one that reflects a style better suited to the workplace, here’s what I would do:

“Many college students face enormous financial burdens upon graduation. We recommend implementing President Clinton’s national service plan to help those students.”

· I’ve reduced this from 63 words to 21—I’ve removed over half the words from the original. What I’ve tried to do is reduce the original sentence to essential information. It’s important to keep in mind that one does not shorten things just for the sake of shortening them. Effective workplace style means efficient—simple, direct and containing all necessary information.
· I’ve changed this to two sentences, each focused on a single point.
· I’ve recommended an action.
· I’ve written from the point of view of an organization or segment of that organization (“We”).

Too Cool for School